Friday, January 11, 2008

And the walls come crumbling down…

This morning started out much like a normal Friday morning, a butt kicking by Rico…go home and get ready for work….but today was different. It did start at Rico’s studio, but not so much of a butt kickin’ just maintenance stuff. My knees still are hurting, but getting better each day. I’m sure by the time Monday rolls on by, they will be fine, just in time to get injected once again. (Breathe, remember to Breathe – I’ve had to tell myself quite a bit this week).

Rico and I talked about “the video” today. It looks like Wednesday is the day to record. I have been reflecting a lot lately and have been trying to put “stuff” down on paper so I at least know what I’m talking about. I switched a couple of appointments around, but I rescheduled them….no missed workouts here! I’m actually quite proud of that…the only time I actually cancelled was when I was really sick and when I had to work out with “Skippy over there” at FT.

As I was on my way to work, I was stopped as usual at the light at the end of the street. As I looked across I realized that the QFC is gone and construction has really begun. I thought about the first time I went into that QFC, 20 years ago and how my life has really changed. I remember really walking back then. To the store, to work, to the park, to the locks, through downtown Ballard, downtown Seattle, the Aquarium, the Zoo…and so on. I can’t remember the last time I did any of that in the last 5 years.

So the walls are crumbling down. The unhealthy me is crumbling and being replaced by the healthier, thinner, more active me. It’s almost like I am starting over again, but instead of a clean slate, it’s one that has to be worked at, maintained, formed, loved. It is often said that if you don’t love yourself, you aren’t ready to really love anyone truly, madly or deeply. And I believe that. I had discovered the last year that I really like me, for who I am, not what I think everyone wants me to be and there is a big difference in that. I actually am now loving myself. I am nurturing my mind, body and soul. It has been an interesting, challenging and a hard path to stay on…but as Rico says…”Can’t Stop…Won’t Stop.

Here’s to breaking through the crumbling walls.



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Rita Holmes said...

Channie...we should all learn by your philosophy here. Thanks for posting that.

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