Yesterday afternoon I got a call from an old friend. Michael. Michael called. I knew it was him the moment he said hi. I thought I would never hear from him. It's been so long since we last spoke....2 years in fact.
Has it been 2 years since I last talked to Michael? Yes to the day. I have it written down. It's on my refridgerator. On a post it note. I cried so hard that day. The day he stopped talking to me. It was like my life didn't matter anymore.
Our conversation was brief. I don't think he expected me to answer my cell phone...so I think I took him off guard, and then when I wasn't mad...I think that also surprised him.
He just said hello, said that he had been going through a rough time, wanted to talk, but wasn't ready to yet, but wanted to call...and get back in touch.
I told him that I missed him, that I was there anytime he was ready to talk. That I wasn't mad. That I missed him, and cared very much about him.
We hung up the phone...and I just started to cry. I collected myself and called "V" and told him what happened. He was surprised that Michael called...but was very supportive. And said what will happen will happen. We just have to be open-minded and just deal with it.
Since Michael's call, I've been thinking of him...remembering how wonderful he was when I was in the hospital. How he sang to me over the phone til I fell asleep and stayed on the phone...til I woke up. All of his stories...how he always said I had a cute accent...when really he did..lol...All of the books he read to me, the jokes, the soothing words to calm my fears. Just thinking of all that makes my heart ache...I can hear him calling me honey or honey bunny...
I don't think Michael knows of this blog...but if you do Michael...know that I love you, I always have...I miss you..I am always here for you. IF you want me there, I'll leave for Brooklyn immediately...no questions asked...and if you want to come here...you have a key...just call me and tell me what time your plane arrives..."V" and I are together these days...but he understands our relationship...and wants you to feel comfortable calling me or visiting...he has always liked you and respects you.
For those of you who don't know of Michael, he is a very dear friend who helped me get through my month long stay in the hospital and my recovery afterwards. 2 years ago, after he went in for some testing...he got real angry with me...and just dropped off the face of the earth...shutting everyone out of his life...I was devasted...I don't talk about it much as it just pains me as I miss him soo much.